Critical Hits

Melee
  • Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Thrust!.

    You may take the Dodge action as a bonus action on this round or the next.

Ranged
  • Funny bone.

    You hit your target right in the elbow (or whatever part of their body they use to control their attacks). They lose proficiency in their weapon and any spell that requires somatic components for 1d6 rounds.

Magic
  • Sonic boom.

    Your strike hits with such force that it unleashes a powerful resonance centered on your target. Your target and anyone (including you) within 5 feet is knocked prone and takes 1d6 thunder damage.

Critical Misses

Melee
  • Plonk.

    You unfasten part of your armor (if you’re wearing any) and lose its benefits to your AC until you spend an action refastening

Ranged
  • Paper cut.

    You create (or just now notice) a tiny sliver in between two of your fingers. You take 1 HP of damage and have disadvantage on all Concentration and Sleight of Hand checks for the next 5 minutes.

Magic
  • Scissorhands.

    Your hands turn into scissors for 1d4 hours. You can’t use them to pick anything up or use any tool. Start working on your topiary.

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